Is there such a thing as too much music?

Think about it. When have people had access to music whenever they feel like it at any other time in history than now? It used to be that if you wanted to hear a new song, you’d have to be, like, a king or something. And then you’d call Mozart into the room and be like, “Dude, write me a song!” And then Mozart would be like, “Okah!” And then you’d have to wait like 12 years and then he’d come back to you waving a piece of paper and be like, “I’ve got it right here, Kingie!” And since you would’ve forgotten who he was, of course you would immediately order that he be executed. Then you would eat lunch!

Now you know why people in the past were so crabby. Today, however, we have music whenever we feel like it. Which may or may not have made us more cheerful.

That’s because some music is very, very good. But, unfortunately, some music is Madonna. Or Billy Ray Cyrus. Or Fergie.

On the one hand, if you were a king in the past, you would never get to hear your favorite bands. But on the other hand, you also wouldn’t have to worry about your ears spontaneously bleeding from listening to any of the aforementioned ‘artists’.

I, on the third hand, have solved all such problems altogether. I achieved this through the purchase of some Bose ‘on-ear’ headphones.

These things have a relatively high price tag for a pair of headphones. I think I paid like $140 for them. But it was worth it. No question about it.

To illustrate, imagine both of your ears turned into mouths. Now imagine that someone is pouring liquid chocolate from Willy Wonka’s river into both of your newly acquired mouths. That is what it feels like to listen to music through these headphones.

The best part is, they’re mostly noise-canceling. It’s so great. I haven’t haemorrhaged out of my ears in like, months.